So much for temporarily life without Ryan

I'm done!!! I'm throwing my hands up and giving up. I'm moving to Pennsylvania. Without Ryan. And starting a new chapter of my life. I'm going to spend more time with my children and get back to whats really important in my life. Some people think I'm crazy to start over with my life but a good friend told me it's never too late to start over and that's just what I'm going to do. I just hope I get it right this time. To my true friends , and ya'll know who ya'll are, thank you all for all the emotional support over the last few months.

A temporary life with out Ryan

So Ryan and I moved out of our apartment and back into our dads houses. Yes you heard me right we are living apart. I miss him so much. I have slept by my self for 3 nights now. The first night wasn't too bad but I was too tired to care. The last 2 nights though have been a lot of tossing and turning. I miss having his arms around me at night. I miss being able to come home from work to him taking off my shoes for me and cooking me dinner. The animals even went with him so i cant even curl up with zorro. I get to talk to him when we aren't busy. But living with our dads keeps us pretty busy. I miss him so much.

For those of you that think you know me well enough to judge me!!!!

Think again people! The only person who can judge me is God. Who's business is it what I decide to do in my life. My fiance and I had an agreement with rules about a certain aspect of our relationship. It was meant to help us out in the end and did. Some people have taken it upon themselves to tell him because of the way the agreement went that maybe he should break up with me. Well I have news for those people we are happier together now than we were before the agreement so give it a rest. Some people have tried telling him that when he goes to Boot Camp and later out to sea or whatever that I am going to cheat on him. Well guess what I'm not the kind of person people seem to think I am. I am more loyal than most are these days. People have even told him that he should take the opportunity to cheat on me. To these people I would like to say because you are skanky pieces of shit doesn't mean he is. GROW THE FUCK UP AND LET US LIVE OUR LIVES THE WAY WE WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE GROWN ADULTS THAT ARE MORE THAN CAPABLE OF MAKING OUR OWN DECISIONS. And in the words of a wise woman a great relationship is not 50/50 it is when both parties give 100%. And that is exactly what we are doing in our own way.

wedding plans

So for those of you that don't already know Ryan and I got back together. He's has decided to go in the navy and leaves for boot camp in September. After boot camp comes A-school. We have decided that between A-school and his first command we are getting married. I think we have decided to have the wedding either on the beach at Hannah Park or in the church on the Base at Mayport. Honestly I think I prefer the beach but it all depends on the weather. Our Reception will be held at the American Legion off Mayport Rd. I know the where and the sort of when but need to figure out food. There will be a cash bar for those who want to drink. But we have decided we will not be paying for alcohol. So if anyone could help come up with inexpesive ideas to feed about 50 people.

Bad Date

So I went on a date tonight that I was kinda looking forward to but also at the same time really scared about. It was the absolute worst date I have ever had in my life. First of all I am not a shopper and the guy new I wasn't one. He said lets meet at the mall. Not lets go to dinner or lets go to a movie. Lets meet at the mall. Well in hopes that we were just meeting up there I agreed. However I didn't wear anything dressy. Just my best blue jeans a cute shirt and a pair of heals that go with everything. I'm not a make-up kind of girl but I put some on. to me first impressions mean alot so I wanted to look nice for the guy but didn't want to overdress. Well when I got to the designated place to meet. I found him dressed in basketball shorts, a plain t-shirt, and a pair of sneakers. UGH!!!! I was soo embarrassed! So rather than walking out on him like I should have I played nice and asked him what he wanted to do. Well we walked around the mall for about an hour while I talked trying to get on a topic so the conversation would stop being one sided. We went to drop off the truck at my place then went to the beach and walked some more with more one sided conversation. We were at the beach for maybe 15 minutes and I realize I am hungry. So I try hinting to him that I was hungry. He didn't seem to get it. I asked him again what he wanted to do. He didn't say anything. A few minutes went by and Ryan called (thank god). He was off work and was waiting on me to be dropped off. So This guy took me to Ryans work and Ryan and I went home. Is it too much to ask for a guy that is smart, funny, has good communication skills, and will take control at some point. I mean I love being in control but I also want a man that will say "Hey, I like you. Let's go to a movie." Walking is great exercise but on a date it's not enough. I like having fun, joking around, bowling, mini golf, something. Don't just stand there like a bump on a log. And please TALK!!!!! Ladies am I wrong to say if you can't communicate don't bother asking us out?

crazy bum at the beach

I have been to the beach almost everyday this week. There has been absolutely nothing going on. Today, however, I took some kick butt pictures of some surfers catching some waves. It was pretty cool. It was such a beautiful day out. The other night was also a beautiful night. So I though I would take Zorro(my pomeranian) to the beach with me he needed to run. Well he had a blast but one of the bums that lives on the beach didn't find him amusing at all. He didn't do anything to her yet, she found it necessary to threaten and try to kick him. Of course I think of my animals as one of my children so I hollered at her. She told me "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to your dog." I wanted to laugh so hard at her but instead I hollered at her again. I told her that it didn't matter who she was talking to and that he was my dog. I am ashamed to say I then called her a crazy bitch. I feel bad for it but she threatened my dog. She continued to antaginize Zorro I tried slowing down to let her pass us. She did for a minute then she turned around and started coming back at us continuing to talk shit to Zorro. Then she started yelling at me say that dogs were not allowed on the boardwalk past 9pm but the sign clearly said no dogs on the boardwalk from 9am to 5pm. I tried ignoring her but at this point she was following me and becoming a pain. So I got Zorro in the car and headed home. I didnt know what else to do. If anyone can please help me out here. I would have loved to stay at the beach with Zorro he loves being out there. How should I have handled the situation better.

looking for topics

I am trying to keep up with writing on my blog. I am however needing new ideas if anyone would like a topic brought up please email me at kyliecates@yahoo.com and put blog topic in the subject box. or you can leave a comment on my blog itself.